The grass IS greener on this side.

Our minds are so wonderful aren’t they? Constantly thinking, imagining, creating, dreaming. But what about when your mind turns against you. When your mind is imprisoning, stifling, killing you. I’ve struggled my whole life with the real and what my mind has led me to believe is real. How things really are and how my mind has set them up to be. When I was a child I had an aunt (my dads sister) insist to me that she was my real mom. I was frightened and had no idea why she would even say such an awful thing. As an adult I know that she has severe mental health issues but growing up my goal was to not be like my “crazy” aunt. So when I was emotional or had mood swings I just needed to get over it and deal. I didn’t have the most supportive family when it came to these issues. I don’t think they were trying to be hurtful i just think they were uninformed and had no idea how to properly handle any of my “issues.” It is so common and so unfortunate. Fortunately for my family and I, we survived. Not every family is so lucky. Then there are these people- the ones who think that if you are depressed, then you’re just not praying hard or often enough. And that is just not true. I prayed until I was blue in the face but I just could not shake whatever it was that was going on in my mind.

Finally, after battling my mind and struggling and being so irritable that my husband and I couldn’t go one day without an argument I realized it was time to seek professional help. I 100% believe in medication and therapy. I am living, walking, talking, marital bliss proof that these things works. I continue to pray every single day but I’m no longer asking God to fix me, I am thanking Him for doing it. I am beyond blessed and grateful that He gave me the courage to seek help. He placed me in a Dr’s hands who knew what she was doing and got my medication right the first time. And He has made me aware and proactive in wanting to make sure that I don’t allow the people around me to have their issues swept under the rug.

Stigma

Wanna get away?

We all need some r&r in our lives and after a long week at work what could be better than a calm, quiet day at the spa. However when the thought crossed my mind this week it wasn’t a realistic option seeing as how it was 10 pm on Friday night and for most of us its not something we can treat ourselves to due to time, budget or children constraints. Much to your delight, I’ve compiled some of my favorite products that will make your bathroom a room of pampering and rejuvenation. Treat yourself once in a while, you more than deserve it. ūüôā

Tree Hut Shea Sugar Brazilian Nut Body Scrub (Walmart)- I obviously don’t recommend using a scrub everyday but after using this your skin will feel brand new.. literally, like baby skin; so touch-ably soft

Bliss Soapy Suds (Sephora)- I have it in the vanilla+bergamot scent, which smells so good!, and the scent stays and it keeps your skin soft even after you rinse.

Cranberry Orange Mango & Acai Berry Hand Treatment Candle (Pink Papaya)- This product is my favorite and oh so amazing! You light the candle while you take your bath then once your done and you blow the candle out the “wax” is actually a therapeutic massage oil that can be used anywhere. I use mine mainly on my neck, shoulders and back. (Its better if massaged on by someone else!) And it leaves your skin with a dewy pretty glow.

Forever Flawless Diamond Infused Facial Peel-  Use this on your clean face and watch the dead skin cells just peel away. A must have if you want to keep your skin youthful.

Neutrogena Naturals Night Cream (Target)-  My skin on face is very sensitive so this is perfect for my skin type and I even use the face wash as my everyday wash.

So go pour the bubble bath under the hot water, light some candles and take some time for yourself to unwind and relax.

relax

Express yourself

When given really good (or really bad) news we all react in different ways. That isn’t to say people who don’t have an overly expressive reaction care less. Recently, on a family trip to Laughlin, I won $500. I was ecstatic.. on the inside, however I didn’t jump up and down or scream or do anything over the top. My mom commented that she would’ve been yelling and I thought to myself, “Why am I not more excited?” Later I realized that I had been genuinely and completely elated I just didn’t express it the same way as my mom would. For a very long time Ive had this idea that I cant express my excitement in an outward fashion. I don’t know where this notion comes from, maybe I don’t want to be boastful; maybe I’m too concerned what others think. But really I think its that I’m a thinker. I take time to think about things and to process them. Even more recently a family member received devastating news. When my mom told me the news I didn’t cry, I didn’t hug my mom, I didn’t really react at all. I asked questions and did what i do best.. I started processing. I’m sure that its not the reaction most would give but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t have the same impact on me that it did my other family members. I’m just not good at these kind of things. The best way for me to express myself is to write it down. But know this.. I love more deeply than most and although I may look and sound fine my heart aches the same and my prayers are as constant as yours.¬†

I haven’t always been this way and I’ve started to see my “poker face” when it comes to dealing with emotions as a flaw but maybe its a strength. I still feel everything and am very much an emotional person but have this strange ability to keep it together when it counts. I can be strong for my family ¬†when they need it most. I know there will come a day when I will need them to be my strength so I’m glad to be that person for them now.¬†

Vow Renewal (2016)

Andrew and I celebrated our two year anniversary, six days later we were married. By most standards, we rushed into getting married. We did it for all the right reasons- we loved¬†each other¬†and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together-nonetheless, two years is a very short time and we still had so much to learn about ourselves and¬†each other¬† To say that the past year and a half has been a challenge is the understatement of all time. However¬†we’ve¬†come out of it on the other side, so much stronger as a couple and more in love with each other now than on the day we were ¬†married. We wanted to renew this year however¬†there’s¬†just not enough time or money. So 2016 will be the year of the vow renewal for us. I loved my first wedding because its the day i married my¬†best friend¬† however it¬†wasn’t¬†my style. The renewal will be my dream wedding. Our style and personality from start to finish.

backyard_06

For my first wedding i wanted a backyard wedding, for my renewal I will have a backyard reception.  Inspiration provided by How to Throw a Backyard Wedding: Decor | Green Wedding Shoes Wedding Blog | Wedding Trends for Stylish + Creative Brides

dress

One of these dresses would be perfect. Found them here- Handmade French Chic Dresses and Accessories by FoldedRoses and actually LOVE all the items in this Etsy store

dog

How cute are these for my girls?!? I dont have (nor do i want at the time) kids so my dogs can be my flower girls.                                      RockinDogs and CoolCats by RockinDogs on Etsy

I also found amazing invitations at Michaels in the clearance section. I bought a box of 40 for $3, which will be plenty because I always wanted a small, intimate affair.

Not that Ive really put much thought into it or anything..