The grass IS greener on this side.

Our minds are so wonderful aren’t they? Constantly thinking, imagining, creating, dreaming. But what about when your mind turns against you. When your mind is imprisoning, stifling, killing you. I’ve struggled my whole life with the real and what my mind has led me to believe is real. How things really are and how my mind has set them up to be. When I was a child I had an aunt (my dads sister) insist to me that she was my real mom. I was frightened and had no idea why she would even say such an awful thing. As an adult I know that she has severe mental health issues but growing up my goal was to not be like my “crazy” aunt. So when I was emotional or had mood swings I just needed to get over it and deal. I didn’t have the most supportive family when it came to these issues. I don’t think they were trying to be hurtful i just think they were uninformed and had no idea how to properly handle any of my “issues.” It is so common and so unfortunate. Fortunately for my family and I, we survived. Not every family is so lucky. Then there are these people- the ones who think that if you are depressed, then you’re just not praying hard or often enough. And that is just not true. I prayed until I was blue in the face but I just could not shake whatever it was that was going on in my mind.

Finally, after battling my mind and struggling and being so irritable that my husband and I couldn’t go one day without an argument I realized it was time to seek professional help. I 100% believe in medication and therapy. I am living, walking, talking, marital bliss proof that these things works. I continue to pray every single day but I’m no longer asking God to fix me, I am thanking Him for doing it. I am beyond blessed and grateful that He gave me the courage to seek help. He placed me in a Dr’s hands who knew what she was doing and got my medication right the first time. And He has made me aware and proactive in wanting to make sure that I don’t allow the people around me to have their issues swept under the rug.

Stigma

2 thoughts on “The grass IS greener on this side.

  1. This is a great entry and I’m sure a challenging one to share. Thank you for being brave enough to write this and to share it with the world. There is a terrible stigma associated with depression and mental illness that needs to be taken away. My Mom has dealt with depression quite a bit over the last few years and it has been very challenging for us all to deal with. Thankfully she has been able to seek some help and is coping much better today. If more people were open about these battles it would be easier for this suffering to seek the help they need.

  2. That’s the main reason its easy for me to share- because I feel like awareness needs to be raised. My mom is a recovering addict but beyond that I feel like she may have other mental health issues but where she lives they teach her that depression (or any other mental illness including things like being bipolar) are curable by prayer. Ignorance is NOT bliss.

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