A small bump in the road

It has been about two weeks since my pain (at this level) started. I’ve dealt with headaches for years however never anything like the ones I’ve gotten in the past two weeks. Every joint in my body hurts. My muscles hurt. My hands, feet and legs cramp up. I can’t keep any food in me. The stomach thing is also something I’ve dealt with for years. The purpose of this post isn’t for you to feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for myself. But my pain is now having an effect on my ability to have a “normal” life so I feel I owe all those in my life an explanation. I’m not trying to be flaky or unreliable; I miss you all! With my pain being so unpredictable it’s hard for me to make plans and when I do I almost always have to cancel because I end up being sick. I will never make plans to go out to eat with you because my stomach will be causing me pain and discomfort within half an hour of eating. I have no idea what is causing my pain, I just keep going to the doctor and getting test run and praying that I will have an answer soon. For the most part my labs keep coming back normal so I’m starting to feel like this is something that I may just have to deal with. Like I said before, I don’t feel sorry for myself. However, knowing that I make just always have chronic pain frustrates me. We have plans to attend a wedding this weekend and go out to a fancy brunch at a beach front hotel the next day. For most this is something to look forward to. For me it’s a plague of questions: How will my stomach react to the dinner at the wedding? Am I going to be in so much pain that I can’t dance with my husband? Am I going to have such a horrible headache that I don’t want to mingle or enjoy the company of other wedding guest?

Hopefully this will pass but if this is something I am going to have deal with long term then I definitely need to find a better way to deal. I currently am taking a pain medication which seems to help lessen (not eliminate) my pain. I also now have a great headache medication (the trade-off is that is makes me sleepy so I have to be careful when I take it). So far, I have nothing to help with my stomach. My brother swears by greek yogurt so I’m going to give it a try. I don’t care for yogurt however I will force myself to eat it every day if it helps me. Any other suggestions are so very appreciated. I refuse to let whatever is going on with my body control my life. I apologize to my friends and family who have indirectly been affected, it has nothing to do with you and I hope that now you have a little bit of insight as to what I’ve been dealing with and can forgive me. I look forward to seeing you all very soon!

Lastly I must mention my husband, Andrew. He has been so amazing throughout our relationship. Ever since the beginning he has had to deal with my stomach and headaches. He has been incredibly understanding and has taken great care of me. (Side note- JUST NOW my leg cramped up so bad I had to stand up and walk it off for a few minutes) Back to Andrew- He knew that his life would be one of taking care of me and being by my side while I dealt with all of this and he still married me. We’ve had many dates and trips cut short or spent with me sleeping it off. And now with my joint and muscle pain, I’ve fallen in love all over again. How can I have such a loving, caring and kind husband? He may be tired of all this or annoyed by it but he never expresses it. He constantly makes my days better by making me smile and laugh. He keeps me grounded and sane. He deserves the world and more and I will do everything in my power to make sure he knows he is Oh So LoVed and appreciated.

Weekend Recap via Instagram (3.3.13)

IMG_20130302_104911

IMG_20130302_120444 (1)

IMG_20130302_204600 (1)IMG_20130302_163241IMG_20130303_150146

IMG_20130303_160632IMG_20130303_161243


Got the Monday blues? Not me. Just looking at these pictures from my weekend puts me in a good mood. The weather was perfect for long walks, quality time with family and good hair days. Hope yours was as great as mine. Enjoy your week and remember, only 4 more days til the weekend.

anything4celinas on Instagram





A mother’s journey

On December 31, 1985 my mother gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She named me Celina Michelle Olvera. My moms dream was to watch me and my brother grow, to love us and support us and help us develop into beautiful, strong individuals who would one day give birth to their own beautiful children. She dreamed that we would be best friends. She dreamed of a wonderful life. My moms dreams for her life didn’t exactly pan out. Her marriage to my dad fell apart, twice. She had a closet full of skeletons. She went from one abusive relationship to another. Addiction ruined  her life. On October 31, 1992 she survived being shot in the head. I’ve heard what happened that night but there is still apart of me that believes there is much more to the story. My mom went through phases where she was sober and healthy but since she never stuck with her recovery programs she always fell back into her old ways. Her rock bottom was letting a man into my cousins house who ended up stealing all of my cousins jewelry including her wedding ring. I was so mad at her, I didn’t even want to look at her. I thought she was selfish. I thought I couldn’t forgive her. I thought wrong. My heart was broken. I cried like I’ve never cried before. I felt a sense of fear and loss that I had never known. I thought my mom was going to kill herself. I forgave her quickly and truly. I prayed for her soul. I prayed for forgiveness for myself for having anger in my heart towards her. I prayed for God to save her life. God answers prayers, I promise you that; my mom has been in a recovery home for almost two months now. She will be in there for at least another year. I saw her two weeks ago but it was the first time I had seen her in years. The real her. Her happy, healthy self. Her eyes full of life and hope. Her cheerful smile. She was elated as she talked about how she got to ride a horse for the first time. I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and love as she talked to us about all that shes learning about the Bible, about how shes learning that her way is clearly not the right way and that shes ready to change. She has been given an opportunity to change her life and she is taking full advantage of it. I know she still has such a long way to go and I know she has made mistakes  but I am so proud of her, proud to call her my mom. When my mom pictured how her life would be I’m sure this is not what she envisioned however I know that better days are coming. I look forward to having my mom back and to the day that I get the privilege of being her best friend.